Last time we explored the ‘question behind the question’ as part of discerning more of why we choose what we choose. We learned that the QBTQ helps us to reveal our deeply held values, beliefs, and assumptions that often determine what we choose. In this entry we’ll look a little deeper into ‘choice’ and our satisfaction with the life we are choosing.
Yesterday I was visiting a home on the river and noted with some ‘awe’ a Sycamore tree that must have been 7 feet across at the base and well over 120 feet tall. As I looked at it, and the hundreds of branches that were supported by the enormous trunk, I realized that this topic of choice, and how, why, and what we choose looks a lot like the Sycamore tree – hundreds of branches all an interconnected part of the tree. So, rather than attempt to find the one or two or ten ‘nuggets’ that might be of value, I have decided to pick on one area – the lack of choosing…choice. It is the difference between living the majority of our life ‘sleeping’ or living the majority of our life with some ‘purpose’ by being, as my friend Richard calls it, ‘awake and aware.’
When I observe myself, and the rhythm of my life, I note there are many times when I choose to ‘check out.’ Sometimes this is an ‘intentional’ check out because I am choosing to unplug and renew. Sometimes it is an unintentional intention where I want to avoid something. I may avoid with alcohol or food, watching TV, or reading e-mail or going on Facebook or LinkedIn. I can ‘invent’ any number of ways to be busy, and to not deal with something.
Is that bad? Not always. While the most meaningful answer to that question is yours, I would invite you to examine your life over time. How ‘awake and aware’ are you versus some other version? Does your life have meaning? Do you feel energized by what you are doing? Does your work feel like a ‘job’ or a ‘calling,’ or somewhere in between? Do you enjoy who you spend most of your time with? OR, is there a ‘one off’ quality to your life? Simply put, do you like where you are, and who you are choosing to become? Are you, as Greg McKeown calls it in his book Essentialism, living at your highest level of contribution? Take a moment to allow those questions to ‘percolate.’
If you smile as you answer those questions, awesome. If you feel uncomfortable, unsettled, or downright depressed perhaps it is time to reflect and commit, or recommit, to doing something different, something more powerful for yourself.
The road to how we got ‘there’ is less important than how, or if, we choose to take a different road – the road to a more intentional, fulfilled life as a man, woman, father, mother, brother, sister and leader; living at our highest level of contribution.
My experience, and what I have observed in many others, is that when I am on the ‘wrong’ road I am undisciplined and unfocused and in pursuit of more. When I am ‘on top of my game,’ I am highly focused on a few things, whether priorities at work or in my life. Contrary to the popular notion of ‘multi-tasking,’ we are built to work on one thing at a time. We may quickly shift from one thing to another, but we really work on one thing at a time. Focusing on few things coupled with the discipline to stay focused and get those few things done is a powerful combination. (By the way, McKeown describes in his book the powerful concepts of the ‘undisciplined pursuit of more’ and the ‘disciplined pursuit of less.’ This echoes my own experience for living a more ‘purpose-full’ life.)
The journey to a more focused and disciplined life starts with an understanding of who you are, what are your gifts, and why you are here. What is your understanding of your purpose? Like corporations, when we are clear about why we are here, it is a lot easier to figure out, at any given moment, whether a choice we are about to make ‘fits’ with who we are, what we value, and what we are here to do. Even with all that knowledge it still takes discipline and focus to say ‘no’ and to say ‘yes.’ It is a lifetime walk.
At your core is a question, “What is the life I want to live?” If the answer is that you are living the life you want, and contributing at the highest level, you will have an internal peace because who you are and the choices you are making are in alignment. If not, there is likely somewhere within you that knows that and is restless, anxious. Your life, relationships, and/or work are not as fulfilling as they could be. That is because we are built for purpose. I invite you to explore and understand what your highest level of contribution looks like and to make choices that are congruent with that life.
A couple of final notes. This is not about ‘doing.’ It is not about doing more of this or that in order to not feel guilty. Alignment between who you are (your ‘being’) and what you ‘do’ begins with your ‘being.’ The choices of what we do are a response to that ‘knowing.’
Walking alongside discipline and focus is ‘courage.’ The walk to our highest level of contribution often requires a good deal of courage first. It takes courage to spend more time ‘awake and aware’ and be more intentional about our choices. It is the most important journey we ever take.
(If you would like more information about this topic, or would like a ‘thought partner’ to help you gain greater clarity, quicker, please contact me (jstruck@ldrshipvision.com or 317-753-6017)).